I can’t say Demi is looking much different from how I left her yesterday. I guess she’s flattened down a bit (is that a good thing?) and she has one solitary bubble on her surface, so maybe things are happening! It’s what’s inside that counts, after all – just because I can’t see anything going on doesn’t mean nothing is. It is, after all, only day two – I need to give Demi a bit more time to prove herself. (Very tempted to pun that out, but I’ll leave it there.)
There’s something so amazing about the minimalism of this recipe. The lack of instructions and few ingredients wraps up a more complicated truth – from simplicity can come real beauty. As, after all, nothing is more beautiful than bread. Putting Demi together feels like a real practice in the art of letting the world do its thing. I feel like they missed out two major ingredients when they were writing this recipe. Respect and faith. I have to respect the time it takes for this delightful dough to form, I have to respect the processes that are going on and not disturb her. This is so much the contrary to everything else I do in life which has such a ‘right here, right now’ feel to it that I’m kind of at a loss as to what to do. Yesterday, day one, I found myself wandering up to baby Demi in any spare moment looking – wishing – for major changes. Of course, nothing had changed – leading me onto my second missing ingredient, faith. I have to have the faith that things will change, that my baby will grow. I have to have faith in her that she’ll do her own thing in her own time. And faith in myself that I won’t mess things up.
Learning, as I am, about these concepts has caused me to reflect them back on my own life. I’m probably getting too personal, but it’s true. I have had a tough year, moving away from home and starting uni. I have felt the loneliness, the anguish and – most often – the self-disappointment that I seem so often to get things wrong. I get it wrong with making new friends, with getting the work done, even silly things like getting lost. I get so much wrong and I make so many mistakes. But Demi is reminding me that by the end of the year I was making these mistakes less. I was growing and learning and finally my life sort of resembled what I thought it would (before exams happened anyway). If only I had had the self-respect, the faith in myself, to give myself the time to sort myself out instead of berating myself and letting the anxiety get to me, I would have had so much of a better time. I’m sure I’m not alone when I say this – we all need to let go and give ourselves a bit more slack. We are human, we’re here to make mistakes and as long as we take the time to learn from them, we’ll hopefully get to the place we want to get to. Self-respect and faith.
Breathe. I’ll stop there – I’m at risk of getting in too deep. This is, after all, just a light-hearted recipe for bread. And a quirky project. Not a complete metaphor for my life as I live it! I’ll catch up with you lot in another 24 hours.
Ingredients for Day Two
50 g water
25 g strong white bread flour
25 g wholegrain rye flour
Mix in the skin on top of the starter and add all the ingredients. Combine well and cover loosely before leaving the bowl in a warm place for another 24 hours. Go off, ponder on your life and have a really nice day while you wait it out.